Stranger Than Witches (The Witches of Secret Hallow Book 3) Page 12

  “I don’t understand you,” Kimberly said. “You’re only wasting more time by staying away. You can’t get that back, either. And you won’t find love by avoiding it. The only way that you can get love is by embracing it and allowing yourself to fall in face-first.”

  Mary nodded, eyes welling with tears. “I want another chance, if you’ll give it to me.”

  “You don’t need me to give you another chance. Nothing I do will change what you’ve done to yourself,” Kimberly said. “You have to make the choice all on your own. Think about it. You know where to find me once you’re ready—if you’re ever ready.”

  Kimberly didn’t want to wait any longer. She turned back into the eagle and took to the sky, turning immediately to the connection she never wanted to lose.

  She was going home.

  18

  Kimberly didn’t make it back the same day. Flying with her mother had left her drained, and after another hour, she had to find a tree to sleep for the night.

  Sleeping in a tree was exactly the kind of solitude she might have expected to enjoy. But she didn’t. She could only think of her plush mattress at home, her downy comforter, the pillows—and much more importantly, Maddock, who would surely be snuggling Keene to sleep.

  How would Keene feel without his mother there to hold him all night? He often slept on his own, but he was used to having his mother whenever he felt like he needed her. What if he awoke in the darkness of night and wanted Kimberly, only to realize that she wasn’t there?

  Maddock would care for him, surely. He was fully capable of meeting his son’s emotional needs.

  That was the thought that followed Kimberly through her spiral into sleep.

  Her husband would care for her son. They would be okay.

  And soon, she would be home.

  I am not Mary O’Malley.

  She fell asleep thinking that.

  She awoke thinking it, too.

  Kimberly set out just before sunrise the next day, even though her eagle’s vision wasn’t as good without full light to help. She was much better rested after even just a few restless hours on a branch.

  It turned out that, no matter how wild Kimberly’s soul might have been, she still enjoyed sleeping in a quiet house.

  It occurred to her, as she flew, that Maddock and Keene were probably upset by her absence. Maybe they were even angry. And who would blame them? She had left in a huff. She had been missing for hours. She hadn’t returned by Keene’s bedtime.

  Kimberly was furious enough at herself for the entire family.

  She wouldn’t avoid the emotional fallout, though. She had earned every second of hatred that they would fling in her face. And she would take it, because she loved them. Because she wanted to make this right.

  By the time she made it back to the farm, it was mid-morning, and Maddock and Keene were playing together outside. Kimberly didn’t know if she’d been happier in her entire life when she was circling over their heads and hearing Keene laugh and Maddock smile back.

  She hung overhead for a few minutes, just so that she could watch them.

  Well. Not just to watch them.

  Her determination to take whatever anger they might have felt was less confident now that she was facing reality.

  Instead, she lingered, allowing herself to drink in the sight of her men at play.

  Keene was clambering over the farm equipment, which was turned off, while Maddock threw hay around. Occasionally, the wee boy leaped off of the seat into his father’s arms, and Maddock was always ready. Keene was clearly trying to catch him off guard so he could fling himself into the hay, but his father caught him every time.

  Each time Maddock caught Keene, his peals of laughter reached a new pitch. Maddock tossed him into the air, much higher than Kimberly was comfortable with. But Keene loved it.

  He loved to fly almost as much as his mommy did.

  And she couldn’t stay away any longer. Their pink-cheeked joy was a stronger draw than the pull of gravity.

  Hopefully her presence wouldn’t bring them down.

  She took a breath, and she descended.

  The flapping of her large wings and the ruffling of feathers was loud. When her shadow passed over Maddock, he looked up, and recognition filled his eyes.

  He pointed and smiled. Keene looked, and he too smiled.

  There wasn’t a hint of anger in them.

  She pulled the magic of shapeshifting off of herself, shedding it like a robe moments before she landed effortlessly in the field. Dirt kicked up around her feet, and Maddock and Keene had frozen, staring her way.

  Kimberly swallowed hard, struggling to find words.

  She had never been a verbose woman, and spending an entire day in her eagle form hadn’t helped with that. But she needed to say something. Her family was just…staring.

  “Hi?” Kimberly asked.

  Keene smiled wider. “Wow.”

  He ran forward and hugged her.

  Keene blasted into her legs with exactly the same force that he ran into her on every other morning. She might have been filled with hesitation, but her wee bairn was not. Her eyes and throat burned as she ran her fingers through his thick hair, a color so similar to her own.

  He was babbling something about how cool her change was—he was young enough that longer amounts of speech, especially excited ones, came out half with recognizable words, and half words that he was trying to make real ones. The happy tears stinging Kimberly’s eyes began to flow, tickling her cheeks and jaw.

  Maddock came up and hugged her, too. “I knew you’d be back,” he said, just loud enough for only her to hear. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too,” she said. “Every second. How did everything go last night?”

  “It was good,” Maddock said.

  “Good?”

  “I got plenty done around the farm. Nana Winterblossom stopped by to help with Keene and clean up after her broomstick incident. I made dinner. The Ash sisters visited. Poke and Keene slept in their own bed, and I had apple cider on the porch alone.” He rattled it off impartially, as though none of it were a big deal.

  It was a big deal. A really big deal.

  They had been fine without her overnight, and still been happy to receive her the next morning.

  Perhaps Kimberly truly could have it both ways. The occasional days in the forest, embracing her magic as an eagle shapeshifter. And a family back home, just like Thorn and his nestlings.

  Maddock kissed her cheek and drew back. As he did, Kimberly could see someone over his shoulder, emerging from their sliding back door. It was Rowan, holding Siobhan like she always was, and she was grinning.

  “Nice to see you’re back!” she said. “Are you happy to see her, too, Siobhan?”

  Siobhan grinned a big smile, and there, visible in her gums…

  “A tooth!” Kimberly cried. “She did it!” She scooped Siobhan out of Rowan’s arms, and slipped a finger into the baby’s mouth to feel her gums. There was one sharp nub on the bottom and a bump beside it. She was cutting a second tooth. Judging by the white line, it would erupt that day.

  Teething pain would be over.

  Siobhan giggled at having Kimberly’s hands in her mouth, drooling over her knuckles. She smelled like joy and coconut oil.

  “Maddock made breakfast to share with us,” Rowan said. “I was just putting it away. You want some?”

  “Rowan helped!” Keene cried from Kimberly’s legs. He’d clamped onto one and seemed very reluctant to let go.

  Rowan laughed. “I did, as much as this one let me! Suppose she’ll be eating solid food faster than I’m ready for.” Rowan took her daughter back. It was only then that Kimberly noticed the baby was clutching a whole apple in both hands. She had gnawed huge chunks of it out.

  Kimberly smiled and picked up Keene, who was much heavier than Siobhan. His weight was entirely welcome. He wrapped his arms around her neck, knees pressed to her hips, and she squeezed his back tightly.<
br />
  Her baby, all grown up.

  She cast a look at Maddock over Keene’s shoulder.

  Perhaps it was the giddiness of being warmly received, and the nostalgia of holding a baby so much smaller than Keene, but the sight of Maddock filled her with a familiar longing. A longing she hadn’t felt in…oh, four years or so.

  The longing to nest.

  He was too distracted by playing with Siobhan to notice his wife making eyes at him. Siobhan had wrapped her chubby fist tightly around his thumb and was shaking it. He made silly faces at her, made all the sillier by the beard he was growing.

  Maddock didn’t pull away quickly enough to avoid a baby yanking on that beard. He laughed while she yanked his chin down, bringing his head into range to slobber on his nose.

  It had been too long since Maddock had been drooled on by a baby.

  Kimberly squeezed Keene again. “Breakfast sounds great. I’m famished,” she told Rowan, and she followed Rowan inside the house.

  Things looked…really nice in the living room, actually. Tidy. Kimberly felt a pang of guilt. “Did you do this?” she asked Rowan as she went into the kitchen.

  “Nah!” Rowan called back. “I think that was Nana.”

  Maddock nodded in confirmation as he came inside and closed the door. “And she told me to tell you not to feel bad about it. ‘A house with young children is never neat.’”

  “Your impression of her voice is terrible,” Kimberly said fondly.

  “I haven’t had enough mead to drink to pull Nana off,” Maddock agreed.

  Rowan emerged with a plate and nodded at Kimberly. “If you don’t mind eating on your sofa, sit. I’m sure you’re tired.”

  Kimberly couldn’t help but wince. She was tired, for sure; as freeing as hunting prey and flying around was, it was also no match for eating food from her kitchen and sleeping in her own bed. But considering how selfish it had been to leave…

  “Hey,” Rowan said, her face turning mildly stern, “none of that. There’s no shame in taking some time for yourself.”

  With a snort, Kimberly took the plate and lowered onto the couch. “Are you taking your own advice?” she asked Rowan.

  “It’s not my advice. It’s Garrett’s.” Rowan had the grace to look a little sheepish. “And I’m working on it. The men are right, you know.”

  “Perhaps,” Kimberly said. “Though it’s best not to say that where they can hear.”

  “It’s difficult for mothers, you know,” Rowan said. “And I fear we put most of the burden on ourselves. Maddock and Garrett don’t believe we should be selfless, sacrificing self-identity to keep home and raise our children and run the entire coven. So why do we?”

  Simply because Kimberly wanted to believe she could.

  Perhaps she was theoretically capable. If she had been a saint, she would have been able to martyr herself for the sake of family.

  But she wasn’t a saint.

  Kimberly was a witch, a woman, an eagle—all of that atop mother and wife.

  Perhaps it was okay for her to sometimes fly away and take time for herself.

  Obviously, everyone was fine without her once in a while. They had an overabundance of support from the rest of Secret Hallow.

  Siobhan was yanking at Rowan’s shirt. Rowan grinned and said, “This one’s hungry, too. Think I’ll feed her and go home, if you’re okay without me now?”

  “Perfect,” Maddock said. “Thanks for helping me keep an eye on the little guy while I did predawn chores.”

  “No problem. I have to keep an eye on Siobhan anyway!” Rowan blew Keene a kiss, and he flushed and tried to hide behind Kimberly. Kimberly waved in farewell, and Rowan went into the kitchen.

  “Cauldrons!” Kimberly sighed as she smelled her eggs and bacon. She hadn’t noticed them when she’d been talking to Rowan. Now that she looked at the plate on the coffee table, she was suddenly, roaringly hungry. “I could eat an entire pumpkin.”

  She dug in, too involved in her food to talk right away. Neither Keene nor Maddock seemed to mind. Keene stayed cuddled to her side, only emerging a little bit after Rowan’s absence.

  Maddock took the chair on her other side, and Kimberly could tell he wasn’t staring at her, but she wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing.

  When the gaping maw that was her stomach was slightly more appeased, Kimberly took the opportunity to wipe her mouth with her napkin and look at her husband. He smiled fondly at her.

  She smiled back.

  What a wonderful father he was.

  “I see you feel guilty, but it’s okay,” he said. “Everyone was happy to assist around the farm. We all help each other out. We just ran Beltane, if you’ll remember. And we’re always supplying the entire village with food.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “But you’re doing magical workings like everyone else.” Maddock smiled. “And even if you weren’t, we all gather to help for other things, too. Childbirth, for one. You’re a part of this community, like everyone else.”

  Kimberly nodded, and, for the first time in a very long time, she felt herself relax.

  Still, she couldn’t help asking, “So you were okay?”

  “We were,” Maddock said.

  There wasn’t anything to say after that, so Kimberly started eating again.

  It was really some of the best food she’d ever eaten.

  19

  The next day dawned sunny and bright. Not a single cloud in the entire sky, within or without.

  Kimberly awoke in bed tangled up in Maddock, his breath warm in her hair. He hadn’t slept in. He’d gotten up to care for the most essential chores, such as feeding the chickens, and then returned to hold her. She appreciated the gesture. It wasn’t necessary, but sometimes it was the least necessary gestures of love that were the most meaningful.

  She had never felt so cherished before.

  Kimberly stroked Maddock’s cheek with her thumb. He didn’t open his eyes, but he smiled faintly.

  “Good morning, wife of mine,” he murmured.

  “Good morning,” she said. “Have you thought about my suggestion?”

  “I’ve thought of little else in my waking moments.” He spread his hand over her belly, and Kimberly knew that he was imagining the same thing that she was: what it would be like to plant the seed of new life in her womb once again, growing another witchling. A brother or sister for Keene. “You know that two children isn’t twice as hard. It’s exponential.”

  “I’m aware of that.”

  “I don’t want you to feel overburdened with childcare,” Maddock said. “You know I’ll do all I can to help, but someone must work the fields.”

  “Keene will be in school from now on. And we will have much other help. Dear husband of mine, childcare is not a burden at all,” she said. “It’s a blessing, and one I eagerly undertake—though we may want to discuss moving Jason into the guest room to help us in the early weeks.” Kimberly knew her limitations, and she also knew that she missed having Jason around. His assistance would be priceless. “Jason, and his cats.”

  “A wonderful idea,” Maddock said. The cats were likely the selling point for him. The mouse population had been getting terribly bold lately, and while the magical mice of Secret Hallow were too smart to get caught by cats, they would also likely leave their grain stores alone if Jason’s felines were hunting them.

  “So what do you think?” Kimberly asked, pressing her hand atop Maddock’s. Their joined warmth radiated through her belly.

  “Yes,” he said. “A thousand times yes.”

  She kissed him and slipped out of bed, her heart soaring with joy.

  For once, she had beaten Keene to consciousness. It allowed her to poke her head into his bedroom and watch him slumber, chest slowly raising and falling. Though he was no longer a baby, when he slept, she could remember when that little round face had been much littler. He snored in much the way he had as an infant. And he hugged Poke just as fiercely.

  A sibli
ng for Keene.

  Her heart was already beginning to grow to make room for both of them. The son she already had, and the child she anticipated coming.

  If Thorn could do it, so could Kimberly.

  She began breakfast. Maddock kissed the back of her neck before heading out into the fields again. She savored his touch with her eyes shut.

  Then Kimberly awoke Keene to feed him. He ate, occasionally spooning some of his eggs into Poke’s beak.

  “Is he all full?” Kimberly asked.

  “All full!” Keene said cheerfully.

  Kimberly herded Keene to the car. Well. Maybe Keene herded her to the car, once he figured out that she was going to take him to school. Kimberly wasn’t reluctant; she was just going too slowly for Keene’s tastes.

  “School, school, school!” he sang.

  Kimberly smiled and buckled him into his car seat.

  He sang happy babble to the songs on Kimberly’s phone as they drove.

  They headed down the hill into Secret Hallow. Everyone was awake and moving, even those who shouldn’t have been alive for decades.

  The ghost of Hephaestus Hallow waved at Kimberly from the window of The Penny Spindle, a general store where she would need to run errands later. She didn’t need to wave back because Keene flailed his hands excitedly over his head.

  “Boo!” Keene shouted in his spookiest fashion.

  They passed Java by Candlelight. Emilia Ash sat outside with Bronson, her Saint Bernard familiar, warming her feet. He had water in a mug that matched hers in between his front paws. Droplets dangled from his jowls when he lifted his head to watch her pass.

  Nana Winterblossom and Iris Westerly were arguing on the corner, most likely over who baked the best pies. But even they stopped squabbling long enough to wave at Kimberly’s passing car.

  Everyone knew she had gone away, and everyone was happy to see her come back.

  She parked outside the Ash Academy. For as long as Kimberly had lived in Secret Hallow, the site had been little but ruins—a lot of collapsed walls and rock tinted similarly to those within the tower of Castle Hallow, along with an empty field overgrown with weeds.